So yesterday I popped online and queued up for a random heroic! Lo and Behold, I –wait a sec, dungeon finder just popped. Okay wait, it popped again. Okay, I’m back.—-had my first bad group. I’m amazed at how bad it was. NO one broke 3k dps, not even the rogue. The tank, however, was tanking ret. I mentioned it and he said “I can handle it, I’ve got my tanking gear, I just forgot to spec my secondary.” They all had really good gear, ilvl 232 and up. And yet I was second on the who is taking damage meter, the tank was above 2 of the dps on the dps meter, and my overheal was tiny. Why? Because they were taking so much damage that my HoTs were almost always healing something instead of overhealing. Nourish became the 1# used heal, followed by Rejuv and Regrowth. The only reason I didn’t die was because I sacrificed the dps to the death god that King Ymiron worships. And then, on the first boss, I said “Wait, let me grab a drink before you pull.” I’d been using my innervate on myself and no one else(shut-up mage, I’m healing you! I need my mana!) but it was on CD. The tank /shrugged and so I sat and drank. And then, at 1/2 mana, he charged up and pulled, with the dps close behind. I was fed up, so I just kept on drinking until full mana, and then tried to toss a natures swiftness+healing touch the tank’s way… but LoS prevented me. Of course it was LoS and not my wish to see them all die ;>.> <.<; . So the boss chewed through all the dps and I popped shadowmeld.

“WT*??? healer sucks!”
“Yeah! Why the **** did you not heal us!?”
-> the mage “And she won’t even innervate me! kick her!”
At which point I remarked “You may have a tank, but healers are still something you wait a few minutes for.”
So I wasn’t kicked and I made them all run back. We went through the boss with only one death. (mages aren’t tanks, dangit!). And continued on. On the next boss the tank dies and I refuse to battle rez him, so the rogue tanks and holds much better aggro. We kill the boss and move on after rezzing the tank. On trash pulls (trash pulls!) the tank overpulled 3 times. As in 10 mobs at once, all over the group. All these times I pop shadowmeld and rez them, but they aren’t getting GoTW now, oh no. They are getting MoTW and the tank is only getting thorns because he needs it. Once we finally get to the final boss…

The tank forgets to pull the mobs first:
“WT*?!?!!?!?!??! How did that thing kill us all so quickly?”
Me (Shadowmelded):
“……Because you’re an idiot? You’ve been overpulling the entire run and now you forgot to pull the trash first. You’ve got a ret spec, the dps can’t break 3k, and I should’ve left after the first boss.”
I get sworn at and told
“We’ve got great gear, we can handle a ****ing boss.”
I just sit and rez them, we kill the trash, I delay until shadowmeld is back up, and let them die. I get sworn at again “OMG JUST HEAL US! WE DON’T REALLY NEED YOU, OUR GEAR IS GREAT!” They pull the boss and I leave the group with a “;-) Have fun killing it with your great gear and no healer!”
….it was worth the 15min debuff, it really was.

The moral of this story: Tanks and Healers go together like frosting and cake; you can live without one or the other, but you won’t be happy. Dps, bah. They’re sprinkles! We only need them because we haven’t figured out how to kill stuff quickly yet.